Thursday, October 13, 2011

Emily and Nutrition

Emily is starting her USS swimming season  with her first meet in a week.  She is really hoping to qualify for Junior Olympics this year, or J.O. as swimmers know it as.  She has been working hard but realizes she just isn't cutting it.  Last night they did somoe sprints and she couldn't keep up with the girls she used to be able to beat.  I could tell she was really working hard and was disappointed for her.  I just don't know that she will be able to pull it off, the qualification that is. 

On the ride home she and I talked very openly about what she needed to do and how what she eats really makes a difference.  She doesn't eat badly, but she eats a ton of carbs and really loves her sweets (who doesn't).  Anyone who has seen a picture of her knows she probably has zero body fat on her but at this point in her training I fear that what she puts in her mouth is really whats fueling her body in the pool.  She asked me to go on the USS swimming website to see what they say about nutrition and swimming, so I did.  Last night she brought me a package of sour patch kids, the Halloween size bags.  She said "mom, two bags of these are a serving.  Did you know that".  I chuckled  because I didn't know that.  I was so proud of her for looking and taking this seriously.  Then, she did something that I was very proud of as well....she packed one bag in her lunch for today and is saving the other bag for "later".  She knows that she should only eat one serving per day so she is spreading it out. 

I can honestly say, if she doesn't qualify for J.O. next weekend it won't be because she isn't taking things seriously.  It'll be because she didn't take it seriously enough, early in the season.  Then again, it is a very long season so we will have to wait and see how this plays out. 

At any rate, the fact that she is learning at nine years old what I didn't learn until 30 is quite an accomplishment I think.  Hopefully it will stick with her throughout her life and she won't have to struggle with her weight the way I do. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


In the past three days I have come to find out just how many friends I have in my life thanks to Facebook.  Its incredible really.  I grew up thinking that I was unliked, but I think most kids go through that at some point in their lives.  I just went about life and did the best I could.  I always tried to laugh at myself and not take myself too seriously to cover up my insecurities.   It was a survival skill I learned at a very young age and I feel it has served me well. 

On Monday, Jerry and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary.  I mentioned it in my status and was completely overwhelmed by the response I received from everyone.  Plus, the friends that had been at our wedding reception still remember it to this day and reminded us of the fun as well.  That was amazing!

Yesterday I wrote a blog about a nasty comment that was made about my weight to my children.  The response to that was amazing as well.  I always knew that my true friends would never care about something as simple as weight gain, and have reminded myself of this on a daily basis.  But to see the caring responses from them, in black and white, was overwhelming.  The love I felt from friends, family and students was completely overwhelming as well.  I even had someone comment to me that I sure had a lot of friends who cared about me.  I looked at her, my student, and said "I sure do!" and I smiled to myself because I felt the love even then. 

Some people think Facebook is a complete waste of time, and it probably is.  I know I spend way too much time on it, but I also know that I have reconnected with so many wonderful people.  Some of those friendships go as far back as fourth grade, with someone who moved away and I never thought would see again.  Some are with people from college that I lost touch with after graduation, because I am old enough to remember a time before cell phones and email!  To me, Facebook has been a lifeline and a savior.  It never lets me be sad for long.  It never lets me get depressed.  It always puts a smile on my face, no matter how angry I am.  There is always someone online waiting to answer my plea for a prayer or a smile.  It has gotten me through my dark days of being bedridden with back issues.  Facebook is Life.  That's how I feel anyway. 

They say that if you have one true friend you are rich.  Well, I must be a trillionaire then because I have some of the worlds best friends in my life!  They are there in my time of need, at any hour of the day.  It is really an incredible thing and I never could have dreamt this as a child. 

If you are reading this blog, then most likely you are one of those people I am talking about.  I personally thank you for being a part of my life and for allowing me into YOUR life.  It is an honor and a blessing from God to be as loved as I am, and I am so thankful!  My cup is overflowing with love! 

May God bless you, as He has me!  :)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

words can hurt more then physical pain sometimes

While I was having breakfast with my mom we were talking about my back issues and I was informing her how much better I've been feeling.  She told me that while watching my kids this weekend it was brought up that someone, I will withhold who, told them that my back would stop hurting if I would just lose some weight.  I was blown away.  How dare they say those things to my kids!  That is hurtful and mean!!  What kind of message is that sending them?!

The fact of the matter is this.....I have had back problems from the time I was in middle school.  I was never overweight until the last ten years and have had issues for the last 25, at least.  My back issues have nothing to do with my weight and everything to do with my spine.  Yes, I am overweight.  But I have been told by my doctor and OB that I am in perfect health.  My blood work numbers are text book and they aren't worried about my weight.  Of course they would like to see me lose some weight, so would I!  But my health is not being affected by it.  That is a huge thing!  There are many skinny, bone thin, people who are having major issues with high blood pressure, diabetes, heart issues and other illnesses.  Not me.  For the record....I have never been known to over eat, have always watched what I ate, and have tried to maintain some form of exercise regiment my entire life.  I have had private trainers, weight watcher leaders and my doctor stumped as to why I am over weight.  If someone feels I LIKE looking like this, they are sadly mistaken.  I hate how I look.  I just have to accept it right now.

I get very depressed lately because I am so helpless to my back problems lately.  I watch people, like my friend Nikki, run and lose tons of weight.  I will never be able to run.  Ever!  The minute I try, my back feels it.  My discs can't handle the pressure, no matter how much I weighed.  That in itself is depressing.  I would do anything to be able to run and do races like she is, and like Jerry does.  I feel like I am at such a disadvantage.  It sucks, but it is my life.  I have to learn how to deal with it.

I have also learned that my true friends could care less what I look like.  I have never judged anyone by their looks and really dont feel I should be either, but this is life and people do judge others by lesser things then that. 

I am so very hurt right now, but I will trudge on with a smile on my face as I usually do.  Most people will never even know I am physically hurting or mentally hurting.   I will continue on with my life and find a way to teach my children that looks shouldn't matter.  I have taught my children how to find serving sizes on packages and suger grams per serving.  I have made sure their lunches are well balanced between healthy food and "fun" food.  They both swim three to four days per week and go outside when the weather is nice. 

If there is anything I can impress on whomever  is reading this it would be to never judge a book by its cover.  That person may be overweight, but they may be the healthiest person you know.  There may be a reason, medically, that makes them overweight.  You just never know. 

Thanks goes to those who don't judge me for how I look, and only by who I am!