chris and his bully

So, my son had a bully in kindergarten and first grade.  His name was Joey.  Joey disguised himself as a friend but then would always try to get Chris in trouble.  He made it his mission in school, to get Chris in trouble.  In kindergarten it was just things like kicking Chris in the back during carpet time.  Chris would get up and move and then get in trouble for moving during the lesson.  It was little things like that, and Chris just didn't know how to handle it.  He was dealing with his ADD on top of that and we dealt with one issue at a time. 

In first grade Joey was put in a separate class so as not to bother Chris anymore, at my request.  But lunch time recess was nothing any of us could control.  He would come up to Chris and trip him, or punch him, or kick him.  We started to tell Chris to fight back, knowing he might get in trouble.  I had a conference with both teachers, Chris' and Joey's, to try and get things to stop.  It didn't really work.  The lunch moms weren't doing anything about it and weren't telling the teachers, so most of the time the teachers had no idea what was happening.  I had assumed Chris was letting the teacher know...and so went the entire year of miscommunication.  The last week of first grade Chris broke down and begged to be transferred to a different school.  I finally had it, and talked to his teacher at one of the end of the year field trips.  She was shocked at the things I told her and promised that Chris' last week of school would be peaceful.  Joey ended up having indoor recess during lunches so that Chris wouldn't be bothered and then Joey was transferred to a different school.  It was suppose to help him with his mental issues.  Chris was overjoyed at the prospect of having a "Joey free" second grade. 

Second grade, this past school year, was so peaceful.  Chris thrived in his new class with his new friends and not having Joey to deal with.  His grades got better.  His behavior issues got better. It was a great year for him! 

Last night, at Emily's softball game, Chris and I were sitting in the stands.  He was playing his DSi and I was watching warm ups.  I looked up and saw Joey coming into the stands.  He looked at me, then at Chris, and went to sit with his mom.  His cousin, or sister, is on Em's team.  He didn't say anything for awhile but he was starting to talk loudly about Mario Bros and things he knew Chris was interested in.  When that didn't catch Chris' attention he started to mention Chapman Elementary, "where he used to go to school".  Then he started talking to his brother about this kid named Christopher who used to go to school with him.  The whole time this is going on, Chris is completely ignoring him.  He knows it's Joey and made the decision to ignore him. Well, this went on and on and on for the whole game.  It got so bad that the kid was standing behind Chris, breathing on his neck while watching him play his game. He kept saying that he knew he was Chris.  Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris Herman...etc etc.  Then when Chris went to the bathroom with Jerry Joey came up to me and said "you're chris' mom".  I looked at him and said..."yep"....then continued to concentrate on the game.  That through him for a loop because I just acknowledged that we knew who he was but were choosing to ignore him.  When Chris came back he proceeded to put his earplugs in so he didn't have to hear Joey.  That just infuriated Joey, which made Chris happy.  I think you get the idea on the whole two hours. 

I am just so proud of my son.  He stood up for himself to this kid by ignoring him.  He didn't take any of the bait!  At the end of the game, Joey yelled to Chris..."hey Chris"...and Chris forgot and said "yeah?".  Joey..."wanna play with us"....Chris "no thank you".  I patted his head and we left for the car.  It is amazing to me how grown up one kid can get in one year.  I have so much respect for my child today and know that he will do OK in life.  He stood his ground, as hard as it was to do.  He didn't let Joey get to him.  It is amazing to watch your child figure things out like that and I will never forget that.  Also, to hear him retell it to Emily and hear her respond to him....it was fun to listen to.

To my wonderful son.....you are growing up to be a fantastic kid.  I am proud to say I am your mom and that you are my son!  Keep it up!  You will go far in life!!!  I love you so much, Christopher Michael Herman!! :)