Monday, January 24, 2011

Ongoing struggle

I have an ongoing struggle with my weight.  There!  I've said it.  For years now I have been on and off a diet so many times it makes my head spin.  I love to eat, but hate the result.


As a child I was a very active swimmer and could eat whatever and whenever I wanted.  I should mention that I have always felt like I was fat and never once felt like I looked good. However, looking back I know differently.  I have never binged on food or liquor.  I feel like I am a pretty controlled eater for the most part.  So, how did I get to where I am now?  I think it's a combination of stress, lack of time and convenience.  It is so much easier to go through the Wendy's drive thru then to go home and spend 30 minutes making something to eat. 


I have rejoined Weight Watchers, for probably the ten millionth time.  However, this time feels different.  I am exploring my feelings and figuring out WHY I eat out, or WHY I feel the need for snacks.  Each day I am picking one good thing I have done, instead of the things I could have done better.   For example, I had to take my kids to a birthday party on Saturday and instead of having a whole piece of cake I cut myself a piece the size of my thumb.  It was literally three bites, small ones at that, but it gave me the satisfaction of allowing myself the cake while not completely ruining my diet.  I have also figured out that I go out to eat at restaurants, not for the food, but for the socialization with friends.  I noticed that when I am out with friends I don't even pay attention to what I am eating, so why not eat healthy.  If I'm not going to pay attention to it anyway then I should eat the things I know are better for me.  All this has resulted in an 11 pound loss since Jan. 1.  I am very proud of myself and hope to continue this path I am on!

2 comments:

NikkiB said...

Can I just say that I TOTALLY am with you on everything you just said!!! I'm going through so much of the same stuff and have developed a new relationship with my own body. Make better choices and workout as much as I can. Keep going. Don't get mad at the cookie, it didn't do anything to make me eat it. Just keep going. Oh, and I'm totally jealous of 11 pounds... my scale is stuck, but my body is finally changing for the better! Love ya!

Colleen said...

I hear you Nikki! I was going to start back to the gym today, but with my back the way it is I have to prolong that some more. You are building muscle which is good in the long run. The weight will follow eventually. But you know what? It's really all about how you feel and how your clothes fit, right? You rock and I love you too!